Do the positive effects of consumerism outweigh the negative effect, or are we just ignoring the consequence of this life style?

I am writing this for my college class but i thought it would be worth share . hope you all like it.

Do the positive effects of consumerism outweigh the negative effect, or are we just ignoring the consequence of this life style? In American people are surrounded by advertising, no matter where they are. Whether they are driving down the road listening to music, or reading billboards, or at home playing games or watching television there is someone trying to sell them something. This is not news to anyone living in today’s world. “However, as the years have progressed, the sophistication of advertising methods and techniques has advanced, enticing and shaping and even creating consumerism and needs where there has been none before, or turning luxuries into necessities.” says Anup Shah (03/04/2012),   in her article Media and Advertising.  Or as Chuck Blore,  said in The Media Monopoly, Sixth Edition, (Beacon Press, 2000), p.185. said “Advertising is the art of arresting the human intelligence just long enough to get money from it.”  Products, and even beliefs, sold in the form of entrainment and have made consumerism a way of life in America but is the true cost?

The first question that comes to mind when we think about consumerism is; when did it all start? The Industrial Revolution, in the 1800’s allowed products to be mass-produced but it was not until about 1906 that consumerism really took off.  According to Gale Research Inc. (1996 and 2002), “The radio got its voice on Christmas Eve 1906.” (Heading title: History). With the invention of radio, businesses were finally able to reach people in their own homes allowing consumerism to move full steam ahead. In 1927, with the invention of television, consumerism was already a way of life in America but television gave a renewed passion to owning things.

Though mass-production and in home advertising American were encouraged people to think about leisure actives and devices. In addition, the high demand for newer and better things, brought on by this, allowed for the invention of newer and better things. However, consumerism also made noticeable classes available in America and started the saying “keeping up with the Joneses.”

            Consumerism also had an effect a “The Great Depression.” According to the history books, The Great Depression of the 1930s started with the stock market crash of October 1929 and lasted until early 1940s.”  Rosenberg (2014)  Some believe The Great Depression was the first effects of a consumer driven society. Many blame mass-production for The Great Depression while others do not think it is that simple. Whatever the belief it is easy to see how The Great Depression lasted longer due to the overstock of products brought on by consumerism.

However, without mass-production and consumerism we would not have had the factories to help us with World War II. According to "The Rise of American Consumerism" by PBS (n.d.), “Wartime production had helped pull America's economy out of depression.” One has to wonder how much longer the depression might have lasted if the factories were not available to help the United States.

The belief that consumerism only has good outcomes has continued to make it a huge part of American culture. Of course, everyone can see how consumers need for the latest gadget is pushing for new inventions. It is easy to see how this continuous turn over for newer and better products is also allowing for more jobs in and outside of the factories.  The saying “yesterday science fiction is todays science fact” is easy to see in the world today. Within this height of consumerism, we can also see how it has led to many people thinking outside the normal product and services box. Consumerism therefor is allowing from growth in smaller or owner run business. (Self-publishing, Uber, EBay sales, just to name a few.)

It has also increased the availability to Americans for more avenues of entrainment and leisurely actives. All we have to do it turn on a radio, movie, or the television to reminded that more stuff equals happiness and without consumerism we still be stuck in the dark ages. With today’s entrainment needing to double for a babysitter so both parents can work, it is even more important that it teach morals. Having one set of morals is important to ensure all of society has a similar belief system. Disney is a great example of showing how everyone can have a happily ever after if they just follow the right path.

Why fix something that is not broke right? Consumerism is breaking the American society. In addition, it is causing damage (possible irreparable) to the earth.

Businesses are using planned obsolescence (or built-in obsolescence) to make sure we continue to buy the latest product and throw out the old without getting it repaired. Dan Kulpinski’s show The Human Footprint, from national geographic, (Dec 5, 2013), reminds us “Americans generated 251 million tons of trash in 2006, the most recent year for which the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has data.” Rachael Tulipano (Dec 5, 2013), further explains “This “garbage” ranges from the obvious examples of food waste, to the material goods that have broken beyond apparent repair, to the objects we choose to abandon in exchange for their newer, more efficiently innovated counterparts.”

In addition, Heinberg, R. (Jul 24, 2013) The Brief, Tragic Reign of Consumerism tells us “The math is simple: even at a fraction of one percent per year growth in consumption, all of Earth’s resources would eventually be used up. The consumer economy also produces an unending variety of wastes, of which water, air, and soil can absorb only so much before planetary life-support systems begin unraveling.” (Paragraph: What could possibly go wrong?)

Not to mention that fact that all the over time, or second job, leaves the average consumer with little or no leisure time. So who is really enjoying the benefits of all these “time saving” gadgets? The throwaway society mentality is also seeping into Americans home life. According to Meyer on about.com (n.d.), “We live in a disposable society. Marriages are thrown away in the same fashion one would toss an old pair of shoes.” (5). So what about the “fact,” “more stuff equals happiness and without consumerism we still be stuck in the dark ages”? The American dream of owning it all continues but Americas just become more depressed. According to The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) (2004), “Major depressive disorder affects approximately 14.8 million American adults or about 6.7 percent of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year.” (Paragraph title: Major Depressive Disorder).

However, teaching strong morals through movies and televisions is working, right? Some say American has become a nation of sheep, with the select few choosing the morals for the country, and the status quo are happy keep them sheep. One has to wonder what will happen to make Americans wake up to reality of it all. Let us not forgot, that the media maintains several antiquated ideas like that, a woman must have a man to survive or that men are incapable of raising children.

So, do the benefits out weight the cost? Are the American people still willing to pay the price of a throwaway society with increased divorce rates, increased depression, and the irreparable damage to the planet we live on? Are they willing to continue to allow a select few to set the Morals for everyone?

As they said in the Brad Pitt 1999 movie, fight club “The things you own end up owning you. Right. We are consumers. We’re the bi-products of a lifestyle obsession” We do not NEED all the things we think we need, and NEWSFLASH! When we get the things we think we need…they probably aren’t making us any happier.” (http://theblogformen.com/fck-martha-stewart-11-lessons-from-the-movie-fight-club/)

This is one American, which is ready to stop paying for the carousal ride, where you never get the brass ring of happiness. Is it not time to learn to enjoy life without the stress of consumerism?

Resource links:

·       Shah, A. (03/04/2012). Media and Advertising. Retrieved from http://www.globalissues.org/article/160/media-and-advertising

·       Chuck Blore, a partner in the advertising firm Chuck Blore & Don Ruchman, Inc., quoted by Ben H. Bagdikian, The Media Monopoly, Sixth Edition, (Beacon Press, 2000), p.185. Retrieved from http://www.globalissues.org/article/160/media-and-advertising

·       Gale Research Inc. (1996 and 2002). Radio. Retrieved from http://www.encyclopedia.com/topic/radio.aspxhttp://history1900s.about.com/od/1930s/p/greatdepression.htm

·       Rosenberg, J. (2014). The Great Depression. Retrieved from http://history1900s.about.com/od/1930s/p/greatdepression.htm

·       The Rise of American Consumerism. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/general-article/tupperware-consumer

·       Kulpinski, D. (Dec 5, 2013). Human Footprint: Where Does All the Stuff Go?. Retrieved from http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/channel/human-footprint/trash-talk.html

·       Tulipano, R. (Dec 5, 2013). America the wasteful: A detailed look into our throw-away society. Retrieved from http://gentwenty.com/america-the-wasteful-a-detailed-look-into-our-throw-away-society/http://www.postcarbon.org/blog-post/1786882-the-brief-tragic-reign-of-consumerism-and

·       The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). (2004 ). The Numbers Count: Mental Disorders in America. Retrieved from http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml#MajorDepressive 

The Monogamous Surrounded by Poly People

Sounds like a sci-fi story right? I bet you're thinking wait, isn't Monogamy the norm and Polyamory still rare? Guess it would depend on the circle you run with. As for me, my best friend and my boyfriend are both Poly. When I first met my boyfriend, I was a swinger and I preferred open relationships with extra sex on the side. I thought that Poly made sense and it couldn't be that different.

Wow, was I wrong, LOL.

The first word you learn around a poly person is communication, but all people should come with a dictionary. It is amazing to see how many fights can be started over a definition of a word.

"You agreed to this and that"

 "Of course I did, that has nothing to do with this"

Definitions got me in so much trouble in the beginning, and after 2 years, they still catch me off guard sometimes, but not as much as not knowing who I was and what I needed in a relationship. I have always believed that we never stop learning but I didn't realize how much, at 42 years old, I still needed to learn. Like being careful of experts; or at least the ones who feel their version of relationships are the only way.

 I like to have very set rules in place in a relationship, my boyfriend is the opposite, preferring to roll with the waves and see where things lead.  It can be hard when he wants to go out with a female friend, since I know anyone of them could turn into a girlfriend. But see the problem here is I think every girl wants him and no girl would ever just want to be friends with him. (Don’t we all think that of our partners? lol) He has lots of female friends that he doesn't sleep with and some that he does, (Friends with benefits) but he only has 3 girlfriends.

One of his girlfriends, he knew before me who is also Poly, is a very sweet girl. She has a boyfriend that lives near her and he is her primary, for lack of a better word, partner. (Be careful of words like “primary” not all people believe in having one partner above the other, there those definitions again.) My boyfriend and I use to help organize a poly party and she would come and help out.

Once he and I went out with her and her boyfriend, the whole time all I could think about was how she got both of them and I felt left out. I see him all the time she sees him once or twice a year maybe. He didn't ignore me at all either. This had nothing to do with anyone but me. My boyfriend is always encouraging me to date others. I am only trapped by myself. Thoughts like how my parents stayed married but fought all the time, with my father leaving and coming back again. Or things like being sexually abused as a child and not knowing how it affected me. Even things like feeling I was raised to be strong and I couldn't show weakness; after all I came from women who pushed boundaries. Or even society leaving the impression that I am not good enough if he wants more than one lover.

My boyfriend’s second girlfriend has a harder row of hoe with me. Again, through no fault of her own as I have never met her.

Some of which is due to the fact that he had another girlfriend when he and I started dating. She was new and they started dating about the same time him and I did. It didn't end well with them and wound up affecting our relationship even though he promised me that another girl would never affect us. I tried to be friends with her. I was a little hurt when they broke up, after all I didn't get any closure with her. Which, why should I? I wasn't dating her after all.

I realize, as I am writing this, that this has a lot to do with me feeling she would have been a better choice. She blamed their break up on me; that I was too controlling. And she called herself Poly. He calls himself Poly and so do both his other two girlfriends. But here is the next lesson I need to learn. He is an adult, he chose me and I have to respect his opinion that it is a better fit for him.

Tonight we are supposed to go out with my best friend who is also Poly and her new dating partner who is Poly. I am so nervous; more Poly people to judge why I am not right. More people to explain why a Poly - Monogamous relationship will never work. 

So here is my advice which I have been given and have yet to take to heart. The only people who matter in your relationship are the people you are dating.  Remember your all adults and entitled to make your own choices.  If he has to deal with me being jealous, not white knighting and leave because he think I would be better off. Then I need to remember he chose me and it is not my place to decide he would be better off with all poly girlfriends.

All relationships are a give and take. So my advice to the Monogamous person who falls for a Poly? Communication. :D

OK I am sure I have lots more to write. Feedback is much appreciated too :) 

when is a word derogatory?

So today I was having a talk with my 16 year old niece and she says" if I put tape on my glass I will fit right in . we even have a geek day, where we dress up like geeks for fun." when I explain that dressing up like "geeks" for a fun day at school was still derogatory her response was they do it on tv so it is ok. I of course was thinking " so they shoot people on tv that's ok right?" even my sister thinks that dressing up like someone doesn't cause those who do dress that way normally to feel like outcast. ( of Course my niece's finally response, I was making a fun day at school into a bad thing. mmm I thought school was for learning ??)

The definition of derogatory is " showing a critical or disrespectful attitude." So for me a word becomes derogatory when it is used to make others feel like an outcast or to feel ashamed. in today society we are constantly trying to reclaim words and change their meaning. For our black youth it ok to call each other niggar , gays use dyke or fag, and feminist even use the word bitch . But what if you happen to find the word offensive or derogatory ? you are told to grow a thicker skin. So sorry that you have lived long enough to remember words like "niggar, fag, dyke" being followed by a beating or being arrested.

And of course we got media telling us it is funny to single out a person(or a group of people) for anything we find different in them.  When we consider ourselves so enlightened and tolerant of each others feelings, isn't it funny we still  have a society building on putting others down?  Now we have convinced ourselves that if we are the one putting ourselves down it doesn't matter???

what happened to teaching our youth respect?? we don't even teach them to respect themselves and we wonder why so many of them turn to drugs?? Why so many become depressed adults ?? I watched a great video recently that i felt really ties in with this. (http://www.upworthy.com/one-of-my-favorite-authors-says-theres-something-we-should-remove-from-all-classrooms?g=2&c=ufb1) the old saying stick and stone will broke my bones but words can't hurt me was so wrong. Words cut deeper than any other tools.

thoughts? opinions??

the facebook caption simply read Police had to threaten force to break up the protest directly outside the house of White Supremacist.

the facebook caption simply read :

Leith, ND 
Police had to threaten force to break up the protest directly outside the house of White Supremacist.

I was wondering what is the rest of the story? isn't ok for us to protest in this country ? as long as we are on public property and not blocking an entry , doesn't everyone have the right to protest?? so I looked up the story.

I do not find anywhere that was said they were outside anyone's private residence. I did however find something alot scarier then some white people wanting to just live all together in their own town.  Cobb, 61, openly describes himself as “more of a white separatist. I don’t lord it over other races, but we want our race to remain separate.” however his so called friends are  Schoep, former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard Tom Metzger, and April Gaede, founder of the neo-Nazi group National Vanguard. 

Being a former child of the KKK there is no way they can try to say they are only separatist.  And when I read thing like "where he(Cobb) envisions a park — perhaps with a swimming pool —dedicated to the late neo-Nazi and white supremacist William L. Pierce." or "'It would be extraordinarily beautiful when people enter the town, particularly at night because we will have floodlit flags from both the bottom and the top of all the formerly white nations of the earth. We will probably have the National Socialist hunting flag with stag horns and a very small swastika in the center, very discreet.' I get even more worried. I am all for these people living in their own little community but this sound like alot more then just a community to themselves.

There is also the problem that they didn't just buy up some land somewhere off by itself but decided to take over an existing town. "The 24-strong population of Leith had to deal with a turbulent weekend of verbal disputes and busloads of neo-Nazi supporters and anti-racist detractors. 'The values of our town include safety and acceptance for everyone. We stand firmly against the bigoted views of this group, and will not be participating in their events.' Local residents have been exploring ways to encourage Cobb to leave Leith and have even gone as far as setting up a defence fund to pay for legal fees to remove him for the area." Cobb's thoughts about locals not wanting him to stay ?? "he said once the media hype goes away, everything will be back to business as usual " the other thing is if he is such a "separatist" why in town full of empty land did he decide to live across from the towns only black resident?

I bet you are wondering what so special about this little town? why did he decided it was ripe for taking over?? "We have every intention of legally assuming control of the local government," Schoep said in a statement." It seems this town was pick because of the fact that it still has a town council. The preexisting residents are even thinking "of dissolving its government because an extreme hate group is wanting to take over".

With him using phases like "“It’s fine for minorities to talk about race. Let me tell you about racial cohesion and people loving their own tribe,” he says. “It’s fine for minorities but not for us. If you dare to even speak about it you’re defamed in this country.” he is trying to keep us from noticing the  little details. And Goddess forgive we notice that he is also buy up other towns. "Cobb's plans don't end in Leith. He also wants to take over other towns roughly adjacent to the state's oil fields, like one near the Canadian border called Alkabo. "A little bit like 'al-Qaida' but 'Alkabo,' " he says with a laugh."

Here I thought we were moving forward.:( Some think  laws like the Civil Rights Acts of 1964 and 1968 that prohibit discrimination in housing opportunities will very likely put a brake on Cobb's all-white vision. but are we ready to count on them?? Sorry but the fact that he has chosen a Nazi symbol to put on his flag says more than any words that come out of his mouth. IF we sit by and wait to see where all the hate is going and growing into who will be next on their hit list ?? this reminds me of a poem i once read.

First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.
Then they came for the socialists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak for me.  (Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984)

First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.

there are several more versions of the poem but they all finish the same way

Then they came for me and 
                  there was no one left to speak out for me.



link to the full story if you want to know more:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2428991/Defiance-black-resident-Leith-North-Dakota-set-taken-white-supremacists.html

http://www.mintpressnews.com/small-town-in-north-dakota-fends-off-development-of-white-supremacist-community/169539/

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/north-dakota-town-ready-trouble-white-supremacists-stake-claims-article-1.1464003

marijuana for medical conditions

 With naturopathic methods being revived again isn't time we as a nation look at this matter again? After all 20 state governments  and even  Washington DC have already made medical marijuana legal. (http://medicalmarijuana.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=000881)  But as this is not nation wide there are still several pit fall is you wish to travel with your new medication  In 13 of the states that have legalized medical marijuana they do not recognize cards from other states. and of course there still the others 30 states that haven't legalized medical marijuana. So far, only Colorado and Washington state have legalized marijuana for recreational use.(On May 20, 2013, the state of Colorado became Americas first legally regulated market for cannabis for adults.) Many places have decriminalized non-medical cannabis in the United States; however, cannabis is illegal under federal law. there are 16 states that have passed laws decriminalizing marijuana which may include no prison time or criminal record for first-time possession of a small amount for personal consumption. (http://norml.org/aboutmarijuana/item/states-that-have-decriminalized) 10 of which have legalized for medical use. even as a state the people cant seem to deiced where to draw the line? So you can take your narcotics across state line but not your medical marijuana ?

Under the new guidelines, federal prosecutors are required to focus on eight enforcement priorities, including preventing marijuana distribution to minors, preventing drugged driving, stopping drug trafficking by gangs and cartels and forbidding the cultivation of marijuana on public lands. but I have to wonder if we just make it legal won't it interfere with profits for the gangs?? And being the pessimist I am, sounds like the cops could still decided to charge you if they word it right. So they say the government will not interfere with state who have legalized marijuana but will that hold true ?

 King James I in 1619, ordered every colonist to grow 100 plants specifically for export. As early as 1853, recreational cannabis was listed as a "fashionable narcotic". There are studies that show marijuana does have medical benefits. In 1937 they made possession or transfer of cannabis illegal throughout the United States under federal law, excluding medical and industrial uses, in which an inexpensive excise tax was required.  In 1978 the FDA set up a program to grow cannabis on a farm at the University of Mississippi and to distribute 300 cannabis cigarettes a month to a patient to treat his glaucoma. However, In 1992 George H. W. Bush discontinued the program after the patient tried to make AIDS patients eligible. So there is history to show even the federal Government knows it can be used to help medical conditions.

However they are still not moving forward to  legalize it  federally as a medication. So the question is why?

It is easy to grow, after all it was called weed for a reason. it has less side effect then almost all of the man made medications. No one has ever overdosed on marijuana..

Are they people who will use it as a gateway drug to harder more dangerous drugs? of course don't we do the same with prescription drugs? Is there a chance of more driving under the influences ? if they are gonna drive won't they do it under the influence of narcotics ?

So it better to fill our sick with chemicals (man made drugs) we have no clue how it will affect the body long term ? How many times do you open the web to see someone suing a drug company because their drug made them sicker? So why are we not using what the Earth has provided us with? Other herbs are used in helping us to keep us well. Makes me wonder who is afraid they will lose money if marijuana is used as a medication ? And it worries me that profit is in the way of our peoples health.

Obama health care, have you seen what it means to low income people every where?

If the Republican do not get to hold congress hostage to "protect" the american people from Obama care, things will be changing in a few weeks. as of OCt 1st. American people might actually be able to see a dr with out waiting until it cost so much because you have to go to a hospital. preventive care could be in reach of all americans. If your one of those Americans who need insurance but don't see how you will pay for it you might be surprised. they have lowed the eligibility for medicaid. you should check out the Washington State Health plan calculator athttp://www.wahealthplanfinder.org/calculator/index.html to see if your fall under the new rules to get in. (The Affordable Care Act of 2010, signed by President Obama on March 23, 2010, creates a national Medicaid minimum eligibility level of 133% of the federal poverty level for nearly all Americans under age 65. ) If you qualify you might want to check out http://www.medicaid.gov/Medicaid-CHIP-Program-Information/By-Topics/Benefits/Medicaid-Benefits.html for more info on what is covered.

futher looking  around with get you to: https://www.odshealthplans.com/SecuredFormsWeb/ODS/drug_card_wpdp.jsp which can help lower the cost of prescriptions . there is no cost to join this service.

But be careful when looking for the Washington State Health Care exchange as number of websites that have popped up which have striking similarities to the state's Washington Healthplanfinder site which is located at http://www.wahealthplanfinder.org/


If congress really wants to lower the national debt they should take a pay cut. we pay our politicians way too much money.

I'm White., He's Black Does It Really Matter?

I was reading the blog post http://jezebel.com/im-black-hes-white-who-cares-i-do-actually-1189595810 on Fb and started to reply there until I realized it was a bit long for a reply. so I decided to write it all down here if anyone cared to know
this is an issue that hits home with me. my fathers side of the family was very KKK. we were not allow to watch different strokes at our grandparents house because and I quote" those N are not in their proper place." Luckily for my sister and I our mother didn't share the same views .We grew up learning what they told us, stuff like if a baby has 1 black and 1 white parent it will be polka dot, wasn't true but she never explain what they would be.

When I moved to Alabama I dated my first black man ever. BTW the south really is no place for a white girl partial raised by the KKK to start dating black men. you got to understand I thought when I got there I would see black and white water fountains still. our little town in Oregon didn't have any blacks until I was in HS. I remember as a small child watching them chase a black family out of town.

I complained one day cause my black bf wouldn't take me out anywhere.I thought he was ashamed of dating a white girl. He said he didn't think I was ready but I thought I was. We went to a Japaneses restaurant were they cook the food at the table. There was a white family at the table with us. He took the outside seat which left me next to a white woman. One of the men actually traded places with her saying she shouldn't be that close to me. Like she would catch something from me??? My boyfriend at the time just gave me a look like don't start anything. I soon found out them saying things to my face was the least of my worry. In Huntsville Ala there is still alot of pain and prejudiced on both side. There were a number of times black women would threaten to beat me up. My bf mothers was just as bad as my grandfather.My bf would always say if they were older then him he would just smile and not say anything. He figured they had reason for what they said and that they were never taught better. However if they were young he didn't think the same way. He got in heated fights sometimes over these issues.To this day I am still a bit afraid of black women and I have meet some really nice ones here.When I had to move my stuff out of my (white)ex husband house I called the cops to come help.From the moment my bf and I showed up the cops were nasty to us. The cops were standing on the side of the front door when we went to walk past them, they shoved my bf. he locked his knees and didn't fall. so they pushed him down on the lawn and handcuffed him. why because he said they didn't need to have an attitude.. Then they threaten to arrest me too for trespassing. They told me I had 15 minutes to get off the property with or without my stuff. BTW my name was on the lease of the house. But as I had a young son I was afraid of what would happen to him if I fought back. so I got a few things and left.

Here on the West Coast thing are not as blatant but If you think that the prejudice is gone you are wrong. When I work in Portland as a manger of a rent to own store I got reminded of it. I got a call from the local police verifying one of my deliver drives really work for me.I ask if there was a problem with his driving and was told no. So why did they pull him over well it seem they thought he stole the big truck with the company name all over it. I assured them it wasn't stolen. they finally let him and the truck go. When he got back to the office I notice he was also wearing the company shirt with the logo on it. So what he stole the truck and a uniform? And yes he was black. things like this are still happening in today world not only to black but many other minority as well. Today I do date a black man . It is not uncommon to see me and my white best Girlfriend with black men in a public setting. Yes we get stared at. In fact I was talking to my mom about it. She said I should turn around and say I know we make a great looking couple thanks. So far I haven't had anyone say anything to me but if I could read minds I am sure there something less then friendly behind those dirty looks. alot of time though my boyfriend is the only black person there too. When we first started dating he would make a joke about being the token black again and all the whites would laugh. Why was it his responsibility to make the whites feel better about staring at him?

Since I am always afraid I will say something dumb I learned in childhood, I am mostly careful about what I say around any minority, but especially blacks as they were a favorite for my KKK family. Sometime to the point where my BF will look at me and roll his eyes, When I start apologizing for something I said that no one thought it as bad as I thought it sounded. I am sure you already notice that I do not even spelling out the word my Grandfather use. I have a real problem with the word. to the point I even cringe when black people use it. My Bf was sharing with me a Black comedian he really liked but ever other word out of his mouth was N this and N that. I couldn't get pass that word so never really heard any of his jokes. My Mother taught us not to cuss and although I do at times, this is one word I almost never use. I fought with my dad's family when my kids where small. I asked them repeatedly not to cuss around my kids and they never understood.To them they were not cussing , after all what was so a profane or obscene about calling people what they are.I had to leave several time before they figure out I was serious.

I still say little things that I shouldn't but I am working on paying attention. Boy is one of my favorite things to call all men(even white men). Most of the Men I know are younger then me :P. However we were watching a trailer for a movie coming out and I realized how it could sound to others. I didn't like it when the white man called the slave,who was a grown man, a boy at all.

I grew up knowing it was wrong to treat others differently after all we are all human but I never learned why they were so different. They didn't have black history month when I was in school. So all I learned about black Americans was what little was cover in the civil war.  I agree with this women point that her boyfriend almost grew up in a different world and why didn't someone explain the difference to him. there are alot of American that have no knowledge of what they are saying when they say "privileged". to me the word meant rich before I met my current boyfriend.

Another point I am sure someone has thought reading is why does she say black and not African American? I believe we are all Americans and the only reason to use black and white was to show a point. Being Proud of your ancestors is a great thing but aren't we putting up more walls by stating where one set of people may have come from ? I recently heard that some scientist believe we all might have come from Africa, black and white and everyone. So would that make me, a redhead white girl, African American?? If you were Born and Raised here that makes you an American. If you have become a Citizen by taking the test that makes you an American. I am happy to use what ever boxes you what to identify with but to me we are all human and that is the only box that matters.

What is important is that we learned to talk to each other and realize everyone has there own belief but that doesn't make them any less of a person with rights any less important then anyone else's. I look forward to the day when a green man can walk hand in hand with a purple man and no one thinks to stare.