this is an issue that hits home with me. my fathers side of the family was very KKK. we were not allow to watch different strokes at our grandparents house because and I quote" those N are not in their proper place." Luckily for my sister and I our mother didn't share the same views .We grew up learning what they told us, stuff like if a baby has 1 black and 1 white parent it will be polka dot, wasn't true but she never explain what they would be.
When I moved to Alabama I dated my first black man ever. BTW the south really is no place for a white girl partial raised by the KKK to start dating black men. you got to understand I thought when I got there I would see black and white water fountains still. our little town in Oregon didn't have any blacks until I was in HS. I remember as a small child watching them chase a black family out of town.
I complained one day cause my black bf wouldn't take me out anywhere.I thought he was ashamed of dating a white girl. He said he didn't think I was ready but I thought I was. We went to a Japaneses restaurant were they cook the food at the table. There was a white family at the table with us. He took the outside seat which left me next to a white woman. One of the men actually traded places with her saying she shouldn't be that close to me. Like she would catch something from me??? My boyfriend at the time just gave me a look like don't start anything. I soon found out them saying things to my face was the least of my worry. In Huntsville Ala there is still alot of pain and prejudiced on both side. There were a number of times black women would threaten to beat me up. My bf mothers was just as bad as my grandfather.My bf would always say if they were older then him he would just smile and not say anything. He figured they had reason for what they said and that they were never taught better. However if they were young he didn't think the same way. He got in heated fights sometimes over these issues.To this day I am still a bit afraid of black women and I have meet some really nice ones here.When I had to move my stuff out of my (white)ex husband house I called the cops to come help.From the moment my bf and I showed up the cops were nasty to us. The cops were standing on the side of the front door when we went to walk past them, they shoved my bf. he locked his knees and didn't fall. so they pushed him down on the lawn and handcuffed him. why because he said they didn't need to have an attitude.. Then they threaten to arrest me too for trespassing. They told me I had 15 minutes to get off the property with or without my stuff. BTW my name was on the lease of the house. But as I had a young son I was afraid of what would happen to him if I fought back. so I got a few things and left.
Here on the West Coast thing are not as blatant but If you think that the prejudice is gone you are wrong. When I work in Portland as a manger of a rent to own store I got reminded of it. I got a call from the local police verifying one of my deliver drives really work for me.I ask if there was a problem with his driving and was told no. So why did they pull him over well it seem they thought he stole the big truck with the company name all over it. I assured them it wasn't stolen. they finally let him and the truck go. When he got back to the office I notice he was also wearing the company shirt with the logo on it. So what he stole the truck and a uniform? And yes he was black. things like this are still happening in today world not only to black but many other minority as well. Today I do date a black man . It is not uncommon to see me and my white best Girlfriend with black men in a public setting. Yes we get stared at. In fact I was talking to my mom about it. She said I should turn around and say I know we make a great looking couple thanks. So far I haven't had anyone say anything to me but if I could read minds I am sure there something less then friendly behind those dirty looks. alot of time though my boyfriend is the only black person there too. When we first started dating he would make a joke about being the token black again and all the whites would laugh. Why was it his responsibility to make the whites feel better about staring at him?
Since I am always afraid I will say something dumb I learned in childhood, I am mostly careful about what I say around any minority, but especially blacks as they were a favorite for my KKK family. Sometime to the point where my BF will look at me and roll his eyes, When I start apologizing for something I said that no one thought it as bad as I thought it sounded. I am sure you already notice that I do not even spelling out the word my Grandfather use. I have a real problem with the word. to the point I even cringe when black people use it. My Bf was sharing with me a Black comedian he really liked but ever other word out of his mouth was N this and N that. I couldn't get pass that word so never really heard any of his jokes. My Mother taught us not to cuss and although I do at times, this is one word I almost never use. I fought with my dad's family when my kids where small. I asked them repeatedly not to cuss around my kids and they never understood.To them they were not cussing , after all what was so a profane or obscene about calling people what they are.I had to leave several time before they figure out I was serious.
I still say little things that I shouldn't but I am working on paying attention. Boy is one of my favorite things to call all men(even white men). Most of the Men I know are younger then me :P. However we were watching a trailer for a movie coming out and I realized how it could sound to others. I didn't like it when the white man called the slave,who was a grown man, a boy at all.
I grew up knowing it was wrong to treat others differently after all we are all human but I never learned why they were so different. They didn't have black history month when I was in school. So all I learned about black Americans was what little was cover in the civil war. I agree with this women point that her boyfriend almost grew up in a different world and why didn't someone explain the difference to him. there are alot of American that have no knowledge of what they are saying when they say "privileged". to me the word meant rich before I met my current boyfriend.
Another point I am sure someone has thought reading is why does she say black and not African American? I believe we are all Americans and the only reason to use black and white was to show a point. Being Proud of your ancestors is a great thing but aren't we putting up more walls by stating where one set of people may have come from ? I recently heard that some scientist believe we all might have come from Africa, black and white and everyone. So would that make me, a redhead white girl, African American?? If you were Born and Raised here that makes you an American. If you have become a Citizen by taking the test that makes you an American. I am happy to use what ever boxes you what to identify with but to me we are all human and that is the only box that matters.
What is important is that we learned to talk to each other and realize everyone has there own belief but that doesn't make them any less of a person with rights any less important then anyone else's. I look forward to the day when a green man can walk hand in hand with a purple man and no one thinks to stare.
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